Not Everyone Has the Same Heart

One thing that is really hard with being a highly sensitive person, is understanding other people who are "normal"... because to me, they are less "normal" than myself. 

With this, I get my feelings hurt, get disappointed and get let down pretty often because I feel like I go above and beyond for people in my life and when that isn't reciprocated

it really hurts.

One day I was talking to my counselor about this and she told me

"don't expect yourself out of other"

I was upset at this at first because I happily encourage everyone to embrace their individuality, but then it clicked. I do wonder, if I'm willing to do all of this for someone, why doesn't it even cross their mind to do it for me? and there it is. It's because they aren't me. They don't have my heart, compassion, empathy and consideration. 

This has been something that I've really had to work on, and honestly, I still don't understand it and it still really hurts and upsets me when the situations arise. Consideration is something I was taught really young. If you're the first person awake, you try to be as quiet as you can be as to not wake everyone else in the house, if you're cooking food you make enough to share... if someone's using something, you wait your turn. 

With this, I always offer up my time to others. I'll go out of my way to take everyone else into consideration. Such as, I text my neighbor every time I leave my house, asking if her and her husband need anything. Every time I bake, I leave some on her doorstep and text her letting her know its there. If I'm getting food, I talk to everyone in my household to see if they want anything. I don't ask for money, I don't ask for help... and I never ask for it as an IOU but yet...

it still hurts when it isn't reciprocated. 

I'm not sure this will be something I ever learn to be okay with, honestly. I think even if I get better at hiding the hurt, its still going to hurt because I know what I do for others and for them to not have that same consideration towards me tells me that I don't mean as much to them. 

I don't have the same heart as others, mine is huge and is plastered right there on my sleeve. It gets easily trampled and yet I keep putting it back together and putting it back on my sleeve just hoping that each time is going to be different. I'll always do this, it's who I am. I just need to remember....

not everyone has the same heart.

 

Until next time;