I'm Not Looking For Answers

For me, personally, the absolute worst part about anxiety isn't the panic attacks, the fear, the doubt or anything about the anxiety itself.

You learn to live, deal and cope with all of that.

No, the worst part about anxiety is that people tell you to reach out when you're having a hard time, and then when you reach out and all you need is someone to talk to...

they try to fix it

they try to give you answers

they try to end the anxiety

sometimes all that is needed is someone to talk to about a different subject other than what's making me anxious. Sometimes all I want is for someone to listen while I vent. Sometimes I'm just reaching out so that someone in my world knows I'm not doing okay. 

I don't need fixed

I don't need answers

I have my anxiety and it isn't going anywhere.

I don't need someone trying to figure me, my panic attacks or my anxiety out. I have gone to counselors, and I first went to a psychologist when I was 12 years old and then again 

to the same psychologist

at 21 years old after I developed my Acute Stress Disorder. I know my anxiety very well. I have worked very hard on how to live with it in my daily life. I know how to manage it and I know what to do when I have my panic attacks. I know what works for me. I am not reaching out for someone to try and take it all away. I am reaching out to have someone to talk to because

the worst feeling is 

feeling alone when coming out of a panic attack.

There is nothing like becoming grounded again, looking around and realizing there is no one...

So, first thing I usually do is grab my phone and I text the last person I was talking to. Sometimes, if I know them well enough, I'll tell them I had a panic attack. I have only met one person who doesn't instantly try to fix it in some way and I absolutely hate it. 

It's been a hard day;