Valid

I had to explain myself and my anxiety yesterday and though some of the looks made me feel invalid, it reminded me how much I have survived. 

Here is the thing, no matter if you feel the need or want to explain yourself, you're feelings are still valid. 

What you have been through is still valid. 

I have worked really hard in order to feel comfortable talking about my mental health and some of the experiences that have put me where I am today, this strength, confidence, and comfort with myself took years to build. 

Think about it: 

I was diagnosed with my HSP at age 12, and my ASD when I was 21...

 I'm almost 29 years old 

and have just been open to everyone who asks as of the middle of last year. 

I am valid,

my experiences are valid

 my mental health is valid 

and my feelings are valid. 

I went through things, everyone does. Would some say my things are more intense, yeah... probably, but that might just be because they don't feel valid in their experiences... or haven't had any experiences to where my experiences are relatable. 

I downplay my experiences, and I know that. 

I was in two car accidents where I was told by professionals on sight that I was lucky to be walking away from the scene. I can tell my memories from these accidents, not necessarily with a smile on my face, but with very little emotion on my face and even less in my voice. I have grown used to my experiences, and those who I share them with have not. Me being able to speak my truth does not make my experiences less valid. 

The looks that I got made me feel like I was overreacting. 

I was being pestered to wear a face shield instead of a mask because masks muffle my voice while I'm singing. I have said

 "no, thank you"

 previously and was starting to get annoyed by getting asked every time I was around these people, so I explained:

Wearing the face shield causes me to panic. During my first car accident, the first image I have is seeing my windshield out of the corner of my eye - my peripheral vision - the windshield was shattered. I remember thinking 

"how is it still intact, but shattered? How is there not glass everywhere". 

Well, seeing the edge of the plastic face shield triggers something in my brain to see the cracks in my windshield. I begin to panic and get very anxious. So I opt to wear a cloth mask. I know if muffles my voice, but it protects my mental health which I think is more important than how I sound singing in church. 
The looks told me I was overreacting, and I thought about it my whole drive home. But then I remembered...

I am valid,

my experiences are valid

 my mental health is valid 

and my feelings are valid. 

Until mental health doesn't have to fight to be valid;